Ponder This: How does Scripture show us that seeking self-control is essential to spiritual maturity?
Scripture to consider: "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." -Proverbs 25:28
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Mary Ann's Response: James 1:19–20 “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
I think so many of us can relate to this bible verse, and how it can help us understand the importance of Spiritual Maturity. —and honestly, I know I’ve struggled with it myself. Sometimes I find myself getting upset easily and I will react too quickly. Often, we don’t take the time to truly listen, especially when we feel like we’re right. I know I am guilty of responding to others with harsh words or letting my thoughts spiral negatively. We get stuck in our own perspectives. Instead we should take God's invitation and do something better—He wants us to listen more, speak with grace, and respond with self-control.
As I get older I’m learning that spiritual maturity starts with making changes in myself, it’s not about trying to change others. I can’t control how people act, but I can choose how I respond. I am learning to let go of expectations—choosing instead to accept people for who they are and seek to understand their perspectives rather than force my own. Showing real patience, love, and a lot of self-control is definitely a work in progress.
In Galatians 6:7–8, Reminds us of the daily choices we make, and how we can change or improve on them.
“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”
If I keep sowing to the flesh—and give into frustration, pride, or selfish habits—I’m going to reap the consequences for them. But if I choose to sow to the Spirit, I am allowing God to shape me. I can do this by seeking love, peace, patience, and of course—self-control. Practicing these is not always easy, but it does lead to a better life with God. This isn’t just to pursue an after life in heaven—it’s also about how we live now, in the freedom and fullness that the Holy Spirit gives us.
Spiritual maturity also means tuning my heart to God's voice. The devil isn't only working on us to give into obvious temptations. Sometimes it’s the quieter things: small distractions, little compromises that seem harmless but pull me away from God’s ways. It might even be the tendency of being too lazy, or passive, or making me think it’s not a big deal. But real maturity is recognizing those moments to allow us/me to depend on the Holy Spirit for strength and guidance.
I’m learning that spiritual maturity brings a sense of peace—not because life gets easier, but because I trust God more. I remind myself to lean on Him daily, to grow in understanding of His Word, and to allow His truth to guide my thoughts and actions. I know how important it is to have a deeper desire to serve Him and to help others know who He is. I want my life to reflect His love—not just in what I say, but in how I live.
At the heart of all of this is the realization that spiritual maturity is a journey, not a true destination. It’s a continual process of growing, learning, repenting, and surrendering. Some days I take steps forward, and other days I stumble. But God is faithful through it all.
Ultimately, self-control isn’t just about “good behavior.” It’s about spiritual maturity—protecting my relationship with God, staying grounded in His Word, and preparing for eternity. The way I listen, speak, and act today reflects the kind of life I’m sowing. And Scripture makes it clear: when we sow to the Spirit, we will reap eternal life.
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Tom's Response: Have you heard about the Stanford "Marshmallow Test?" In 1970, Walter Mischel sat children old enough to understand the experiment in a room for 15 minutes alone. They were given a marshmallow and told they could eat it now, or if they waited 15 minutes, could have a second one. Here is a video from WaterMark Church to illustrate what it might have looked like back in 1970. The children who showed self-discipline and waited longest for the marshmallow went on to have higher SAT scores, were thinner, earned more advanced degrees, and coped better with stress.
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Karen's Response: Steady growth toward the likeness of Christ is what all Christians should be striving for. And just like most things, it takes work, self-discipline, endurance, and intentionality. With spiritual warfare going on all around us, we need to have self-control to do what is needed to remain strong, for a man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. (weak and easy prey for the evil one)
God's Word provides numerous examples that illustrate the connection between self-control and spiritual maturity, demonstrating that it is a crucial stepping stone to mature Christian living. One example is found in 1 Corinthians.
- 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Paul draws a connection between the athletic discipline of preparing for a race and the pursuit of eternal maturity in Christ.
In the following verses, we see that God isn't asking us to do this on our own, but to depend on our Counselor, the Holy Spirit, for strength and guidance. His presence in our lives is not just a comfort, but a powerful force that empowers us to grow spiritually.
- Romans 12:2 - Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.
- Titus 2:11-12 - For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age
Below is a modified chart that was shared with me when I began as a teaching leader of my church, which categorizes stages of spiritual maturity into four parts: infant, child, young adult, and parent. (Please don't let the category names mislead you; any age can fall into any section, and the chart is fluid, allowing us to fluctuate between stages.)
- Infant - A new believer. There is a grand celebration in Heaven and on earth when someone gives their life to Christ, but their spiritual maturity is usually very shallow. They are in discovery mode, and they need to keep hearing the good news of God's promises, how God has worked in your life, and be shown ways they can begin to connect.
- Child - This person is growing and becoming more connected, but is still somewhat self-centered. A spiritual child is developing an understanding of deeper truths. They may be attending church, a small group, and serving, but a child might change their plan if something more fun is offered, or decide not to attend if the weather is bad or the parking lot is full. They may also complain about the music, the sermon, or a person in their small group. Their spiritual maturity is still in the developmental stage.
- Young Adult - This person is well on their way to spiritual maturity. Their roots are deep, and situations don't determine their faith. They have been tested and remain God-centered, relying on the Holy Spirit to guide their ways. A spiritually mature young adult begins to develop self-control and self-discipline as they run the race set before them, always working to glorify God. They begin to prioritize others' needs over their own, because they have learned that serving others is a way to serve Christ. In all stages, you can share the Good News of Jesus in your life, but a young adult can begin making a significant impact when discipling others.
- Parent - A spiritual parent is wise in the ways of the Lord. When you are in this stage, intentionality and self-discipline are just a part of your being. You have eyes to see those around you. You are well-trained and feel equipped to meet others where they are. You can answer the hard questions, sit with the broken-hearted, and pray with a stranger. The fruits of the Spirit are plentiful in your life, and your greatest desire is to lead others to know Jesus. "Others before self" is your motto.
Jesus loves and gave His life for sinners and saints. From the moment we declare Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are His forever. Regardless of our current stage, we are unconditionally loved. If we are stuck in a stage for our entire lives, we are still loved beyond measure. But God doesn't want us to stay stuck. He gives us the Holy Spirit to guide and counsel us. He gives us His Word to encourage us and show us the way. His desire for us is that we grow and become spiritually mature, and that takes self-control.
Call to action:
So today, ask the Spirit of the Lord, that dwells within you, to show you ways that you can become more spiritually mature. Let him know you are ready to do the work required to move toward becoming a spiritual parent, so that He can use you as part of His Great Commission: 'Therefore go and make disciples of all nations.' - Matthew 28:19-20.
Pray and then listen. Have the self-discipline to do this daily until the next steps are revealed to you. Remember, it is through consistent prayer and discipline that we pave the way for our spiritual growth, and it is a commitment worth making.
